• Alan Wayne

Ghosted? Q.T.I.P. And Move On!


This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend a couple of Grammy related parties. I was lucky to spend time with some great people, and even make new friends! But for many whom attended the event, right about now is when they are starting to feel some not so nice emotions. Maybe that record exec who you gave your card to hasn't gotten back to you like they said they would. Or the person you shared drinks and dancing with hasn't returned your texts. Meeting new people can be wonderful, but it can also be fraught with anxiety, despair, and self doubt if they don't exactly react the way that you wanted them to.


Ghosting is far too common in todays fast paced social media dominated sphere. Before the internet and its wonders, people used to meet face to face. Being someone's "Friend" meant more than clicking a box. Sure, people were assholes then too, but it was not as easy to be one as it is now. The internet has given ample opportunity for folks to be perceived as or even to act like...An Asshole. This leaves perfectly normal, functioning adults scrambling for attention like ants on a sugar cube. The internet is probably the single greatest invention of all mankind. Yet like everything, it is merely a tool, and a hammer can build a house or bludgeon a child. Its all how one uses it.


Now keep in mind, I've been an asshole. A big one. I've Ghosted. I've also been Ghosted ; in short, it sucks. I see both sides of this coin quite clearly. This is why I tend to overcommunicate. I always return phone calls and text messages promptly; I fall short on email, but I'm working on that. So, to handle the inevitable, because everybody gets Ghosted at some time in their lives, I had to remember that despite all of the incredible advances in technology, people haven't changed much. People are only able to handle a certain amount of interaction. People also prioritize who they interact with based on importance in their lives. To expect to be the first call that previously mentioned record exec makes Monday morning is, at the very least, wishful thinking. And one night on the dance floor hardly ever leads to a cinematic rom com style ending. The key is remembering reality; every day we Ghost people we like, even love. It just happens, and is most times unintentional. Get over yourself, and call your mom.


This is where Q.T.I.P. comes in. During a seminar I attended on business, the main speaker said the best thing you can do as a sales rep is to Quit Taking It Personally when you lose a deal. Many sales reps will get angry or frustrated when the deal they have worked on for months falls through over a few pennies difference in price. Instead of throwing the phone and eating your notebook in rage, simply accept that this is a business decision and move on. The same, I believe, can be applied in the music business, or even personal life. If that record exec has listened to your music and decided not to reply, it is within you to move forward. Not everyone will like you or your music. Take it as it is, and have enough confidence in your product to hit up the next record exec. As for personal matters, consider the following; if a person Ghosts you, they could be busy. They could be playing some stupid game. Or they are an asshole. If they don't show you the time you feel you deserve, that is on them. Its nothing you did wrong, unless maybe you threw up on their shoes at the end of the night, but you get my point. A person who is not willing or able to give you time is not worth yours. So next time you get Ghosted, Quit Taking It Personally, and spend your time and efforts on the right people. :)



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